I haven’t breathed since Monday. Yes, I know that would make me dead, but you understand the idea.
At work, people think I’m superwoman and can do absolutely everything. I’m spread across three departments, training people while still learning myself, and trying to get caught up on the work I fell behind on while working remotely. I love the challenge but the stress of wanting to crush it is exhausting. I’ve had so many tasks thrown at me that I didn’t even have time to write them down.
So I actually wrote down “make a to-do list” on my to-do list. It had to happen.
At home, I haven’t completely settled in so I never actually feel like I am resting. My towels still haven’t arrived. Two large suitcases remain unpacked, making my search for clothes in the morning a nightmare. Groceries here expire faster than any reasonable person can use them, so I find myself with less food options everyday.
Then, there’s this blog. I love writing, but it takes time. Time I don’t have. But I feel the pressure to keep it up because I never have in the past. So I’m trying to make time. But then – there’s my life.
Yes. There exists an area outside of work/learning to live on my own/other priorities. There’s this thing where I try to save some time for fun. To cuddle with my boyfriend who I haven’t spent time with in months. To explore new neighborhoods and try new restaurants. To bond with the girls I’m going to be living with for the next year. This is the area to always get sacrificed first, but I don’t want to do that. I’m all too quick to choose lonely nights in bed over a quick drink down the street, or watching TV over someone’s birthday dinner. It’s so easy to get caught up in exhaustion and stress and frustration, but it’s an endless cycle – sure, fun may make you more exhausted, but you’ll never get out of an exhaustion and stress funk without making time for fun.
So I’m three days into my full time job/life routine and I’m already stretched thin. So I’m going to go for a drink tomorrow. And probably fall a bit behind on work at some point. And maybe I’ll only post here once a week. But I’m going to stop trying to juggle and I’m going to have fun.